Well, for anyone who cares, my life recently has been as follows.
- My history teacher is driving me insane. (For example, Bethlehem is not part of Nazareth and never was.)
- I have been given advice on when and how to practice crying so that I don't worry anyone. (One popular tip is to practice in the shower so the sound will be drowned out.) It's really hard, I found yesterday, to manage to be brokenheartedly dramatic while saying things that are incredibly corny. (Especially when the "dead guy" who is neither dead nor a guy is lying there laughing.)
- My F&D corps is marching in an enormous televised parade this Saturday. (And I'm filling in for our fife sergeant who won't be there.) So I'm putting together two lists of tunes - one street song list and one list to play during free time at theater - some of the actresses enjoy dancing to the fife. I'm also learning new music, such as "Harem Scarem" and "H-l on the Wabash," for the purpose of playing them outside of the corps, like at theater.
- I'm enrolled in three classes for next semester - a traditional Biology course, a traditional Biology Lab course and an online Philosophy 101 course, which I am looking forward to. Having never taken an online course OR a philosophy course, it's the philosophy I look forward to most.
- I have been observing in Special Education classrooms at the school where I volunteer at kindergarten, for my SpEd class. It has been very educational.
- I'm trying to figure out how long I can get away with having my hair while playing a Renaissance boy, and working with my wonderful role triplets to figure out exactly the best way to fall off a chair and die in hoopskirts. (Not as the boy, obviously.)
- I took the SAT. It wasn't bad. Quite relaxing, actually.
- And I can't wait for my big brother to come home for Christmas. He's gonna be back for multiple days around that time. He plans to wear his dress uniform to the Christmas Eve service at church. When I think about how many moments lately and upcoming feel "just like a movie" it's quite staggering.
It's pretty tiring at this point, juggling everything. Really, I am quite excited to graduate high school. (I'd be more so if it wasn't an automatic ejection from youth group. And theater, but mostly youth group, which has been an incredibly important lifeline for the past seven years.)
One peculiarity of human nature that has been suggesting itself most lately is the ease with which we as human beings slip out of one role and into another. We all do it - we are relatives, friends, students, employees, coworkers, and many other things besides. It is brought to mind every time I get offstage as one of my characters and go right back on as another. It isn't that unrealistic a situation. The point is that we know what's expected of us everywhere. We are consistently, unconsciously changing hats. I change characters every Monday, when I leave the SpEd classrooms or the Christian Club, where I am either a college student or a casual friend, and go to fife and drum, where I am a senior marching musician AND a casual friend. Wednesdays are crazy this way. Yesterday morning I was an actor (I'm not even going to include the roles) and a fight choreographer and someone who works with children. Yesterday night I was a good student who went to school and talked about childhood obesity.
Bottom line? That's the thing. Every role we put on has a bottom line, the thing that's really inside. Integrity is making sure none of our roles are contradictory, and it can be difficult. But overall, each of our costumes are the same fabric, each of our definitions is ultimately influenced by the soul.
I figured I had to say something profound. About time.
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